Hi everyone

I plan to see "the Passion" this week, along with Dawn of the Dead, which has been suggested as the ultimate zombie double header by those excellent folks at AICN, home of the grooviest movie reviews on the web. I say the grooviest, but for pure entertainment, they have a rival in Betty Bowers who's review of The Passion included this spritely description;

por-nog-ra-phy
noun

Lurid or sensational material:

A psychotic need to revel in two hours of seeing someone else tortured solely in hopes of making oneself cry -- see "emotional masturbation"

Betty's by-line is "God told me to hate you." What a lass! Check out the Land-over-baptist website too, most excellent commentary;



Bomber out

Wired News: Furthermore: "...reacting to new limits on political advertising, the National Rifle Association has fired up its own straight-shooting news organization. Calling itself 'freedom's last channel of communication,' NRANews.com..."

Will definitely have a look at this site. I expect they call Fox "bleeding heart liberal pussies" or somesuch

Bomber out

Wow, try this game; Bush Shoot-Out. Wired report that this game is hosted by a site which also hosts paid ads for the Republicans; not as amusing as my original interpretation that the game itself was an ad. Appropriate? No way. Fun? You becha! Condi Rice with double uzi's is top. I got 155,107 first go; Let's go kill some evil doers!



Bomber out

11am
Work (bored)

Can someone please tell me what it is about cats and shitting in the bath?

Last night I got home to find the Fluffy White Boy (Fate; our "eldest") sitting in the bath, near the plug hole. This is his traditional howling spot, when he wants the tap turned on for a drink (water bowls being an inferior source of water, obviously.) At the other end of the bath was an all too fresh (ie; steaming) log. 2 feet away from the bath was the (clean) cat litter.

The cat just looked at me indignantly and demanded that I turn on the tap.

Bastard.

I do have a few hypotheses which might help explain this behavior;

1. Cats are inherently evil
2. While dogs do not know the difference between "good" and "bad", only between what pleases and upsets their owners; cats do know the difference and they choose to do wrong, because they are evil.
3. Cats also clearly understand what gets on their owners pecks and do these things due to some twisted sense of humor borne out of the fact that they are evil (only thank god they haven't worked out that shitting in the bed might piss me off more than in the bath)

Fortunately our other cat (MoJoJoJo) is at least half dog. You would accept and understand what I say if you ever saw him eat. Thus he is far more amusing than annoying, his favorite toy being a scrunced up piece of paper or the top off a milk bottle.

Kids

Bomber out

1pm
Work

Hi everyone

I received the following this morning, from a mate in Australia;

Is this it? Rant at the bomber is just a sodding email link. I feel cheated. I would have thought with all your nerdy ipoddy GPRS bollocks we’d get a direct live line to the knob-o-chamber where we could see your spoddy little noggin head-butting the keyboard as some bloke comes round and gives you something suitably tedious with a glass frontage to construct, and as I typed, my dulcet tones of joy would be replicated through your speakers.

But no. A complete let down.

You tosser.


After this evisceration, I decided to put some effort into the commenting system and so here it is; provided by those wonderful people at Halo (who ever they are) Anyway, click the link, perhaps I'll get some more free stuff. Fouind the Halo link on a Blogger "Blogs of note" listed blog (the pinnacle of blogdom...) called Life at TJ's place which is the blog of a strip club owner. Fascinating reading...

Back to my life and last night Bubble and I watched the "House of Sand and Fog" which stars Ben Kingsley, Jennifer Connelly and some other folks, including the crap one from US MBB. Kingsley plays an ex Iranian military commander who has fled to the US with his family. I expected this to be about Kingsley's character coming to terms with the culture shock of moving from the head of an army to a small suburban bungalow but it was not. It was, instead, something to do with real estate. I certainly came away with mixed feelings.

Without wanting to give too much away, you should watch this movie for the acting and the scene dialogue, almost all of which is excellent; even that crap bloke from the crap US version of Men Behaving Badly was good (imagine being remembered as the crap one from the crap version of a long dead tv show.) What really was crap, and I say this with venom; was the plot. What a load of old toss. It's so odd, almost all the subtleties in this movie I thought were excellent, especially the way they play on each character's slight misinterpretation of scenes to drive the plot further into its cycle, but the mechanics of the overall plot of how Kingsley's family end up in one place while the other protaganist ends up in another is absolute toss.

So there; watch it, but don't mind small things like the mechanics of the plot too much. I think this was trying to be A Simple Plan but it's not nearly that good. Annoyingly, I think it probably could have been.

I just had a disturbing rememberance; if there's one reason that you might want to skip this movie it's that half way through we are treated with out warning to Ben Kingsley HAVING SEX. Ahhhh, he's, like, 90; has he no shame? Can't keep his drooping bits to himself, just like that Helen Mirren bird on Prime suspect; an excellent show save for the repeated nightmares I have of her walking round in her all together having just finished shagging someone.

That's all I've time for at the mo, got to go off to a meeting with some folks then it's off down the pub for Friday night fun...

Bomber out

Wired News: Clearing Up The Confusion: "Science-fiction author Neal Stephenson's latest 800-page dispatch, The Confusion, arrived in stores this week. But Stephenson fans hoping for another brain-wracking, cryptographic puzzle to solve will find a surprise instead: A central scene in the book provides a long, detailed description of the mechanics of 17th-century bills of exchange. Pivotal themes in the book involve the emergence of a cashless market at Lyon, France, and Sir Isaac Newton's 30-year stint at England's national mint."

Yes yes, very nice Neal, but when do we get back to the pizza delivery boy and his sword? That Raven Bloke and Hiro were excellent, I'm less impressed with Daniel Waterhouse as protagonist.

Bomber out

6pm
Work

My old neighbour, who called himself Charley, (what an obvious code name) is definitely an international assassin. Look at the evidence

1. Lived in a shitty appartment, which was always spotless (even though he's a bloke)
2. Kept really funny hours
3. Claimed to work for the Economist (yeah, right)
4. Knew EVERYTHING about afganistani tribes etc (of course all too tidily explained by the Economist job cover)
5. Had those heavy rimmed glasses meant to make him look clever, but they were always askew. Sure; they're not a disguise...
6. Had plumby english accent. (We all know that Assassins are always either English public school boys or swarthy spaniards)

We met in a pub in Wan Chai once and I was a "bit" drunk so I tried to OUT him (in a sort of "you're a bloody international assassin, aren't you?" way). He just smiled sadly and was not there the next time I was able to see. And my feet had been mysteriously glued to the floor.

The following week, we were served Govt notices that our roof gardens were both illegally constructed, which forced us all to move out. "Charley" mentioned that he was moving to a high Terrace above Happy Valley. Coincidence that this would give him a superior vantage opintfrom which to overlook the balcony of my new flat in Happy Valley so that with a Super-high-powered Scope he could pick me off easy while I was having breakfast? I think not.

Yours, dressed like Ned Kelly

Bomber out

Wired News: Onion Taken Seriously, Film at 11

This is a story about a Chinese newspaper who used The Onion as a source, not realising it was satire. Some people just can't see a joke when it's right in front of them...

This is the Onion story they mistook for the truth




Above: An architectural firm's proposal for a new retractable-dome capitol. Inset: Hastert addresses reporters.

"I think that it has a lot to do with The Onion style," [Carol Kolb, the editor of The Onion] says. "If we're doing our job right, we try to do it in a really straight, AP style. People aren't used to seeing their humor without a punch line."

If you haven't heard of the Onion, check out the link to the left of this page. Proof that there are Americans with a sense of humor (although possibly only 20 of them)

Bomber out

2pm
@ work (skiving)

back at work a day and already I'm buried in it. Sod this.

Off to Taipei next Tuesday for this "Japanese in Taiwan" type project; unless they change their minds in the interim, which is about 40% likely. At least it's a short week, I guess.

Planning on mountain biking this weekend so I do actually have something to look forward to.

Read in Time mag that John Gielgud's autobiography includes mention of Alec Guinness strapped to a rack in a dominattrix Dungeon;

Alec; "no, don't use the force, use the whip, dammit..."
Dom; "welcome to the dark (and somewhat seedy) side..."
Alec; "Oh, stop it with that crap will you, I'm a Thespian, for god's sake"
Dom; "Speak the words old man, you know you wanted to be him"
Alec; "OK my mistress; you're not my father!!"
Dom; "No, but I am Mark Hammil, now let's have a light sabre fight"

Oh dear.

Got a little carried away there, sorry

Read else where that 9/11 was apparently Britain's fault, this week at least.

All that sucking up to GW worked then, didn't it?

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Britain accused of 9/11 blunder

Bomer out

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Seal hunt goes on, despite protests



Ooooh ... bad seal

Bomber out

Apr 13, 7.30 pm
Home

Back to Sri Lanka and...

After the backgammon, we were happy to find that the fans were working, the earlier brown out was over so we were able to sleep the fitfull sleep of the drunk without too much sweating.

Morning came and the water from the taps still smelled worse that we did (these things always being relative) so we trekked over to what would be Ray and Ange's pad for the rest of the week and availed ourselves of their shower and power points for further pod charging.

Swift lunch (a final NO on the crab front) and a couple of hours lying in the sand reading my book and it was time to go.

6 hours of absolute mayhem ensued as we drove back up the Galle road to Columbo, picking up Marie's friend Jen on the way. Another hour of near death experiences and we were at the airport.

Frankly the whole thing was severely uneventful and I slept through the majority of it.

You will have gathered that I enjoyed my holiday. Fact is, a soft push and I would have stayed; there's so much to do in Sri Lanka and some of it I could probably even make some money at, although it might be a little early in the game what with the Tamils acting up and the Sinhalese giving the wrong message at the polls but the time will come. A few factoids for anyone thinking of making a trip;

Sri Lanka
Population; 20 some million
Currency; Sri Lankan Rupee. 100Rs = 1 USD (near as dammit)
flying distance from both HK and London: about 7 hours
Time zone: GMT +6 (no daylight savings)
Hotels: cheap
Beer: cheap
Food: cheap
People: friendly
Diving: great
Political situation: Better on the ground than it looks in the news
Cyclists: Mad as a box of frogs

That's me for the Sri Lanka trip, Andrea's already planning a long weekend in May then summer hols; TWO holidays ahead, but I will save that rant for another day. Thanks for coming with me; it's been fulfilling knowing that you are all sitting dilberted in your little office cubes with me teling you what a good time we're having. Perhaps you'll do the same when you next go on holiday, if so; send me the link to your blog.

On with the show and back to work; I had a call today that a client of mine wants to create a fgacade design that they did in Japan but in less time and in Taiwan. Sounds like a challenge. Here we go

Bombed out

The Exorcist in 30 seconds with bunnies.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaa; brilliant!

Originally from the most excellent Neil Gaiman blog site via my mate Dave.

Bomber out

Unsurping the ginger one, Simon's comment get's the edge;


Unlike our ginger comrade, I have actaully enjoyed your Blog over the last week and gradually found it quite an addictive read; like some kind of Sri Lankan version of Emmerdale, but with fewer characters and more interesting.

A Sri Lankan Emmerdale? now there's an idea.... I could make a career out of this

Bomber out

Ultimate Flash Face

This is a Identi-kit like face maker, sent to me by a mate with too much time on his hands. Strangely addictive, though

Here's one I did that I call Harold. Not a real person, but a character for a story, perhaps





Still working on putting a proper comments thingy here (the one I tried this morning clearly has not worked) and direct images. See how lah

Bomber out

comment of the day, from my belligerent ginger mate, Smudge

"Now and again I have logged onto to your bloody site and after 4 days of deep thought have concluded there is no bloody natural justice, thank fuck your back at work soon and I don't have to read your drivel and realize how shit my weekend has been in comparison!!"

Ahh, it warms the cockles of my heart to drive others to Jealousy...

Bomber out

Wired News: Big Concern for Very Small Things:

"Stain-resistant nanopants and sunscreens and cosmetics using nanosized titanium dioxide particles are already on the market. And the Nanodesu bowling ball is one of the first consumer products that uses nanoparticles called fullerenes -- aka buckyballs -- which are extremely stable arrangements of carbon atoms that look like soccer balls. "

Where can I get me some of those nanopants?

Bomber out

12 Apr, 11am
altitude; 11,000 m over the Gulf of Tonkin, between Bankok & Hong Kong

Having been unable to locate the clichè originator, I am forced to save my can for another worthy cause & admit that, as things stand, all good things must come to an end. We are now just an hour out of Hong Kong & the comfortable, though constricting, life that we call our day to day existence.

After breaking free of the Colombo~Hikkadua bike race for the terminally insane we arrived in Mirissa at about 10 to 2 in the afernoon. This was quite an achievement; we had estimated a 1 hour window (1~2 pm) to the guesthouse we had booked and, after giving ourselves up to the maelstrom of the Galle road, had actually hit it. Our guesthouse was equally surprised; they had already let their rooms & had only one left available.

Our conversation with the guesthouse owner was not a very constructive on & ran something like;

Me; Hi, we booked 2 rooms for tonight under the name James

Guesthouse lady (with fixed smile); We only have one room available

Me; But I booked 2

Guesthouse lady; We only have one room available

Me; I don't understand, I phoned 2 days ago & talked to you. We agreed to take 2 rooms & told you we would get here between 1 and 2 pm. Here we are, what about the rooms?

Guesthouse lady; We only have one room available

Repeat until blue in the face.

This was going nowhere so we resolved to find another guesthouse & leave them to fill the one empty room. If I had thought for one minute that they might fail to fill that room then I may have taken some solace in exercising my rights as a discruntled consumer thus but they had probably filled it before the conversation ended.

This is actually fairly common in small hotels as they deal only in cash & so have no way to take deposits by phone. One of our number suggested that they could have at least warned us that they would not hold rooms but, working in an industry almost as cynical as the hotel biz, I opined that a comment like that would just leave the average customer calling the next place until they found someone who would tell them what they wanted to hear. Buyer beware, expect no meaningful commitment until you lay down some green.

All this left us in a bit of a predicament; it was Easter weekend and all the big places were already full. We were a little concerned that we may not find rooms at all. Sleeping on the beach tanked up on arrack might be OK for the hippies, but we're adults for God's sake; besides, I needed a power point to charge me pod and phone from.

We were very fortunate to find, just next door, a guy who had a little plot of land with a couple of bungalows on it. Both were available. He had no generator which was a little worrying for fan power during the night (turned out to be no problem - the brown out was over before we were) and the water from the tap smelled a bit, but we were only staying for a night & he knew where to get non-alcoholic relaxants so we accepted his offer.

Having secured accommodation, we trucked down to the beach & found the local seafood resteraunt of repute. Here started my fruitles persuit of Sri Lankan crab. Assume that everytime we ate for the next two days l asked for crab and that everytime I asked I was told No. Jumbo prawns were good enough to warrant a second serving, though.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the search for Nivana through liberal application of alcohol & ended in a somewhat ad-hoc backgammon tournament back at base.

More on the trip home later

Bomber out