11 Apr, 8am
Mirissa Village Inn, Mirissa

Too pissed / monged out to write yesterday. Very unprofessional, I know, but then I'm on holiday so I'll do what I sodding well like.

Currently on the beach in Mirissa (south Sri Lanka) paying 5USD/night for a bungalow. Life could be (a lot) worse.

Unfortunately all good things must come to an end, we leave for HK tonight, arriving back Mon lunch time.

Who said that "all good things must come to an end" crap? I must remember to open up a big can of whoop-ass on them GW style

Comments on the blog have been thin on the ground this week however this from Big Dave in Taipei;

"Reading Bombers Blog is like being kicked in the arse with a boot made of flaming meat, until you puke blood"

You have to know Dave to understand how truly touching a comment that is.

We called my sister in law in London last night, just to fill her in on how relaxed we were and let her know how well the beautiful sunset was mixing with the gin & tonic. After a brave attempt at appearing a good sport, followed by a brief bout of swearing (really I overstate the situation; but what is the truth when measured against taking a poke at the familials?) she promised that she has been faithfully reading the blog but noted that it wasn't clear how to make comments. As Daph is a computery type person, if she can't work out how to comment then we definitely have a problem.

So, here it is 101 "how to rant at the bomber";

press the "Rant at the bomber" link above the Onion & Blogger buttons to the left of this page. Your email software should then automatically bring up a blank message to dear old me. Fill it in, including definitions of any terms so grovelling that I may not know them, and click send.

I will try to publish all, which so far would not be too challenging, & will give pride of place to the most grovelling / rabid.

We stayed in Bentota for 3 nights and managed 5 dives. Most of the diving was quite deep (around 30m) but the visibility was good enough that you could see a good 20m. There is very little coral, some soft, no hard, but tons of fish life. Our diving group was always small, maximum 4 divers. There are several dive centres in Bentota but we were never diving on the same spot as anyone else.

The best single moment had to be on the last dive where I rounded a rock to find 4 stingray resting on the seabed, bodies overlapping like a clutch of really big, poisonous puppies. The biggest was around 1.8m diameter. As I discovered them, one began to move and swam right up to me (I changed my underwear later) before veering off and settling on the bottom again. At it's closest I rekon it was about a half metre from my face; I could have touched it if I had the nerve. Four things were going through my mind;

1. Is the sting only on the tail or around the body too?
2. Can it use the tail like a whip?
3. I do not want to be stung at 30m by something that weighs more than me
4. How fucking cool is this?

There are usualy 6 month gaps in my diving so I often forget how much I enjoy it. The last 3 days have served as a timely reminder.

Leaving Siri's place, we were picked up by Ray & Ange, who had left Colombo at 9 to meet us off the dive boat at 11. Apparently 2 hours to cover the 70 k from Colombo to Bentota is better than average.

Bentota to Mirissa is about 80k. The road is absolute mahem, driving in Sri Lanka is definitely not for the fainthearted. About half way we noticed a couple of cyclists on the road in front. That they were riding single speed shopping bikes was not a surprise. That they were Lycra clad & moving at 40kph through the traffic was. There was a bike race on. On the Galle Road during a holiday weekend with the road choked with vehicles ranging from tuktuks to mecedes, from bulluck cart to articulated container lorries. I felt vulnerable in our Toyota Corolla, these guys were fucking fearless.

Further along & we came upon the peleton, 20 or so riders all going hell for leather. Moped riders flanked the peleton, flinging buckets of water at the riders.

The peleton was not easy to pass, they had majority control of the road. As we were trying to pass a breakaway sprint started at the head of the peleton. This helped us in that it thinned the field out a bit but once clear of the front runners we rounded a corner to be confronted by hundreds of people thronging the road.

It was the finish line.

Oh.

The crowds parted and waved us through, although their opinion of the width of our car was lower than ours. Once through we looked back to see a car & a van behind us. I have no idea who won the Colombo - Hikkadua race but my hat goes off to each and every one of the crazy fuckers.

Bomber out

Apr 9, 7pm
Seery's Place, Bentota

I remember that I had promised you a potted history of Sri Lanka. I started but it's all too complicated so here's a doped version instead;

Way back (like AD500 ish dude); 2 tribes, Tamil (in the North, Hindu with support from India) & Sinhalese (with most of the decent land but support from no-one)

Then to 1500; general warring with India China etc. Sinbad (of sailor fame) visits

1500~1660 In mistaken belief that Portugese will protect them from India China etc, Sinhalese make deal with them. Portugese rape country.

1660~1800 In mistaken belief that Dutch will protect them from the Portugese, Sinhalese make deal with them. Dutch rape country. And build canals.

1800~1950 In mistaken belief that British will protect them from the Dutch, Sinhalese make deal with them. British rape country. And introduce tea (main crop was coffee prior to a blight that wiped out all the coffee plants in the 1870s.)

1948 Independence

1957 "Sinhala only" Law is passed. This, along with several other bits of pro-Sinhalese legislation, makes most Tamils unemployable in govt posts & places in university more difficult (think Bumi-putra law)

1960 PM assassinated for negotiating with Tamils...by a buddhist monk

1960~1980 Tamils stripped of citizenship. Some "repatriated" to India, balance given citizenship back. Marginalisation of Tamils all but complete.

Mid 1970's LTTE formed. These are the most famous & strongest of the rebel factions who go under the common name of the Tamil Tigers, still the only known rebel force with it's own NAVY.

1983 A Tiger faction ambushes an army patrol. All hell breaks loose. Sinhalese civilians take to the streets in Colombo and other towns & cities. Up to 2,000 Tamils killed. Many Tamils flee to the North & many Sinhalese living in Tamil areas move South. Geographical polarisation of country complete.

Then 'till now CIVIL WAR. Loads dead, stuff blown up, atrocities on both sides.
Tamils now in control of rougly 1/3 of country including the North (Jaffna) and a big slice of the east.

Recently; Serious negotiations between LTTE & govt. Main sticking point being an autonymous Tamil state. PM pro compromise, President anti. President won recent election so the future is anyone's guess. Seems peaceful enough here at the mo.

Bomber out

Apr 8 5pm
Seery's Place, Bentota

Tuesday morning we left Ray & Ange to their dull workaday lives & fantastic pad & got a van to Bentota, which is one of the first beach resorts South of Colombo.

The journey was uneventful in a nearly-but-not-actually-getting-killed-by-a-gas-truck/tuktuk/family-on-a-moped kind of way so by noon we were settled at Seery's Place (spelling uncertain.)

Seery's is what is known in Sri Lanka a homestay, which is essentially a Bed & Breakfast with an all day bar & kitchen service. These places can vary in style greatly; we stayed at one in the mountains on our last trip in which we ate with the family & were expected to be able to converse fluently on the finer points of the leg break, which I worked out after a while had something to do with cricket... Seery's is a more commercial affair but still has that personal touch for which the Sri Lankans should be world famous.

We are diving with the "Dive the Snake" dive company which is (predictably) German an (less predictably) excellent. The dives we did this morning included a sight of a stingray &, less common, 3 lion fish all out from under their normal hiding rocks & in their full glory. Next techhy purchase definitely a waterproof camera housing.

Of course, as is our ritual when ever we dive, Andrea & I were suddenly full of plans for our next dive trip & all the stuff we should buy before then to make the whole trip more rewarding (fins, w/suits etc etc.) Of course we had the same discussion after our last dive trip. Ho Hum.

Our dive guys & girls are only going out in the mornings at the moment because of windy afternoons making beer drinking preferrable to looking at your own hand at 20m 'cause that's all you'd be able to see. It's a compromise we can live with.

Bomber out

7 Apr 5.30pm
Seerey's place, Bentota

When we were at the Gallery Cafe the other night both Andrea and I were admiring the leather chairs that populated the bar there. As we were in "need" (always a relative term) of some chairs for our dining table, Andrea resolved to find out where to get them. Thus we ended up, after a circuitous & all too typical taxi ride (I swear they all moved here from some other city only last week otherwise at least some would know the roads, yes?) at a shop called Paradise Road in Central Colombo.

It is quite plain from a quick look through Paradise Road that only a gay bloke could have laid out this store; a straight guy or a girl wouldn't have stood a chance. Set in an old colonial building, the store gives the impression of a jumble sale or curiosity shop; it tempts you to explore & discover. So cleverly does the place present its chaotic face that it is very easy to overlook the actual organisation of its layout. As for the merchendise; for those from HK think of GOD only 80% of the contents are really funky (instead of 30%), for those in the UK think of Habitat, only good. I'll bet your local funky homeware store contains at least a few items sourced from this store's factories. That's the other clever thing about Paradise Road; all the stuff is made in Sri Lanka. I'm guessing by the same factories & cottage industries that make tourist tat, but to tasteful designs commissioned by the store.

It was no surprise to us to find out that Paradise Road and Gallery Cafe are owned by the same guyk

Suffice to say we found our chairs, which included a leather cushion each. The cost of the chair was what I would have expected to pay for the cushion at home. As with such trinket shops, we found much more besides.

Those of you on our Christmas list, don't be surprised if your present has "Made in Sri Lanka" printed on it this year.

Bomber out

6 Apr
Ray and Ange's place, Colombo

Andrea has gone to the School with Ray and Ange this morning for a snoop around so I have a couple of hours to myself.

Ray and Ange's pad is top. It is one of a mirrored pair of 2 storey houses, built by their owner as dowrys for his daughters. One of his daughters promptly shacked up with some bloke in Switzerland and the other is at university in India. Kids today. Thus he has leased both to the International Overseas School of Colombo, which is how Ray, Ange and their neighbor Marie (who I keep calling Diane for some reason that In cannot fathom) came to live here.

The houses are, as I have said, mirrors of each other, with their frontage centered around a covered double car port behind a bloody great double gate (security is, apparantly, somewhat of an issue.) To the sides of the car port, each house has a small front garden, the inner wall of which extends to enclose the carport on either side.

The interior of the house is quite surprising; immediately inside the door you are in a double height living room. Upstairs you can see a small ballustraded section looking in to a small seating area or office on the first floor. This sense of space and depth, however, is not the first thing that strikes home.

What realy hits you is that there are 2 big holes in the roof, open to the sky each with its own garden beneath; one just inside the front door and one towards the back of the living room. One is about 6' square, the other closer to 10' square. This lends a very Zen feeling to the whole place and is apparently a common feature of Lankan homes. Definitely an idea to note for anyone thinking of building a home in the tropics. There is no airconditioning in the living area, which one would expect to turn the whole place into a sweat box, but the combination of high ceilings and the roof openings makes the whole place very airy and comfortable. Life could definitely be worse.

On the downside, there is apparently a rat problem, definitely a roach problem and there are intimittent millipede races between the two gardened areas; these are more amusing than a problem but I could imagine them becoming tiresome after a while. Ange told us that they explode if you flick them; must remember to try that later. Mossies are also a problem, but with the number of geckos around, I'm sure they could be controlled.

We checked out of the Galle Face yesterday afternoon and trekked over to Ray and Ange's about 3 pm. I have mentioned previously that it was a no booze holiday yeaterday so we were well stocked up with offy fodder. We had, however, failed to consider that other (somewhat lesser) requirement for life; food. Ray and Ange's fridge contained exactly 4 eggs, some local cheese and several bottles of varous alcoholic beverages. Fortunately Marie and her friends had returned from their Bentota dive trip and had thought further ahead than us. Fantastic veg sushi and Japanese curry followed, mixed with several bottles of wine and some local beer; Lion Beer (not too bad.) TYhis lot saw us sleeping like lambs by about 11. Ray and Ange got in at around 1am, their flight back from S'pore having been delayed for 3 hours, so we all had a good chin wag for 1/2 an hour or so before all hitting the hay (again.)

Have just remembered that Ray has the whole of Series 1 of King of the Hill on DVD so my planned Potted Hisytory of Sri Lanka will have to wait till we're on the beach.

Till then, Bomber out

5 Apr 5.30pm
Ray & Ange's place

Yesterday was spent drinking G&Ts playing backgammon & kipping in true holiday style

We went to the Gallery cafe in Central Colombo for dinner, which was superb, finishing with a tiramisu that was less wicked than it was positively evil.

Today is a buddist holiday which apparently means no booze is sold ANYWHERE. Fortunately we were warned about this yesterday & so made sure to stock up.

Currently at Ray & Ange's place awaiting their return from Singapore.

Tomorrow Andrea wants to go and visit the school that they work in so I should have .plenty of time for me to fill you in on how relaxed I am then.

Currently Burping & Farting on Sofa (© G Brennan)

Bomber out