Will There Be Blood? Fucking Right there will!

We got tickets to the Belgian premier of There Will Be Blood . Sounds all glitzy but, frankly, it wasn't sold out so whatever,really.

The reviews all make this film sound great and given the title especially in that old gothic font, I just knew we were in for some great times. No trailers this time, I suppose if they'd had them they would have been 30 days of night, 28 weeks later and some other stuff, but nvm, I knew what to expect. Cue 20 minutes of dialog free intro, in which we see our hero digging holes in the dessert, breaking his left foot (huh? huh? ... see what I did there?) and generally prospecting about the place. I'd been told to expect this and was a bit apprehensive but it didn't seem as labourious as it sounds. That soundtrack though ... the rising discordant strings seem to render even open hillsides claustrophobic ... I just knew I was going to shit myself when the vamps finally showed up. Afterall, Daniel day lewis in a vampire movie is something I've been waiting for for, like, ever. He's so picky about the projects he's in that I just knew this was going to be special. OK, OK so Gangs was a load of toss, but he tapped his eyeball with the tip of a kitchen knife in that so I let him off.

So, he digs some holes, breaks his ankle and that, then ..... nothing. Huh? what's with all the daylight and desert and that? I've got something wrong here. I was sure that with the title and the font and everything that this must be a modern interpretation of Nosferatu eats the fuck outta Texas. Seems I was wrong. Must be a monster movie. That's right, he's going to dig a whole too deep and unleash some oily terror. Like A historical fiction version of Cloverfield, only no cities or annoying teenagers and that..

Second bit (act, what?) and he's just moved into a new area and is digging more holes. As he gets more cash the holes get deeper. Sooon prescious. He's mucking about in the bottom of the hole and chiping away at the side and .... and .... here it comes .... and ... nothing. WTF? Where are the monsters? The chick who gave the speech at teh beginning of the film said 2 things; it's three hours long and one of the greatest movies of the decade. Greatest movie of the decade and not one vampire, zombie or even an oilsoaked megamonster? 3 hours with no CGI? I started to panic. Bubble calmed me down with a can of Stella (one reason to love Belgian cinemas ... now just sort out the fucking seat numbering you tossers) and I resigned myself to some sort of arty character driven whotsit about prospectors and the locals that they shaft to get at what's under the desert in Texas. 3 fucking hours and no monsters.....

DD Lewis plays this guy Daniel Plainview (I like it when the help the actors like that. DDL has a shit short term memory apparantly). He certainly earns his crust. He stomps around in this strange trouser / boot combination that is supposed to be just sooo last century and gives him huge comedy feet, kind of like they all used to have in Halo Jones way back when 2000AD and I had similar mindsets. He commands those around him like some sort of one man industrial revolution, which I probably would have recognised as the metaphor was I not weeping into my beer over the complete lack of an undead hoarde. He's got this son who doesn't really do much (at one point I thought he might be the antichrist, if he was he kept damn quiet about it) and then there's this preacher who you see DDL slappnig in the trailer so you just know that he's bound to go toe to toe with this bastard, although while I'd definitely lay my life savings down on an Angelus/DDL a non undead version I'm not so sure of. These are evangelists afterall, a tough bunch of bastards and when you don't believe in evolution, you could be forgiven for fighting like you've nothing to lose. Most of the battles between the 2 are passive/agressive jibing, however, there's not much actual mudwrestling or knife fights and absolutely no neck biting, but it has given me a few ideas to use on the cunts at work.

So, Plainview is our very central character. He has two relationships outside of work, one with his son and one with this preacher dude. Both have tremendous potential to be great stories in themselves and I don't think either of them are carried to satisfactory conclusion. The preacher is definitely the more polished of the two characters. The son, well, maybe I'm just stupid, but I never felt I got to know him at all and so couldn't sympathise with the situation. There is plenty to sympathise with aswell. You know with a movie like this that you're not going to get a happy ending and this certainly delivers on that front. The camera work is that side of quirky that makes critics cream themselves (LOTS of off subject refocus stuffs) and the music fit the film perfectly while seeming incongruous at the same time, which I supose is a good thing. Unlikely that the CD soundtrack will beat out X-factor for No. 1 any time soon though.

All in all, worth it for DDL's performance. I was left cold by the 2 other central characters, although the preacher had his moments, but perhaps I was working through the dissappointment of no vamps.

Oh, and there's no-one .... NO-ONE ... in this movie that you will want to see neked so it's a bonus that everyone keeps their clothes on.

Bomber out