It's got no WHAT???!!!!111!!11one

We drove up from Toronto towards Montreal yesterday and today, staying overnight in Ottowa with Jodi, Andrea's sister. After getting to the wedding venue (well, the hotel, which is a coach ride from the venue itself) we decided to get some KFC greasiness inside us before hitting the hotel bar for a good afternoon's warming up. Of course KFC isn't KFC this side of the "border". Like the way they couldn't just call it MTB and had to come up with Velo Toutes Terrains (cuningly shortened to VTT) KFC here is PKF, wbhich I assume to be short for Poulet Kentucky Frite, although Petty Kunting French would be more like it, frankly. We had no cash so went to the local corner shop, coz they all have cashpoints in here, but it only had 20 C$ left in it so we had that. Luckilly a bucket of chicken was only 15.95. All greased up, we returned to the hotel. By this time it was a pretty respectable 5pm so I was a little surprised to see the bar unmanned, perhaps the indonesian slaveboy that they surely had working there 25 hours a day was serving cocktails by the pool. We sidled up to the reception and I volunteered Bubble to do the whole french speaky thing. I listened in horror, not needing her to translate for me that the hotel bar was only open for functions.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUT WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?!

What a bunch of parochial (french) bastard sons of other french bastards

Luckily (unlike in Ontario) at elast they sell beer in supermarkets here so we quickly shot off to the IGA (local Tescos type thing) and scored some beer. On the upside internet is 6 C$ (about 20p) for 24 hours, so I'm drinking beer and amazing myself at how cheap fast cars are here (S2000 = 50k C$, about 10K cheaper than Belguim, the bastards)

Bomber out

Oh, Canada

Just back from 2 days biking in the Blue Mountains. Managed to get Andrea out on a downhill bike and she had a blast. Unfortunately she twisted her ankle on the first day, so wasn't able to ride the whole of the second, but all in all a good time. Blue Mountain is about 1 1/2 hours outside of Toronto and as such is overrun with kids. We did have to put up with a lot of arse piercing stories and kids who were totally, like, stoked in the gondola, while stretching up to try and see over the side. My favorite was a little kid with a Kona Stinky Jnr (perhaps the coolest bike on the planet; a fully specced 6" travel Freeride/DH bike, downsized to 24" wheels) who was covered in dust from stacking up on one of the runs. Didn;t care, just wanted to get back up the top and go again. I was relatively stoked myself that I was able to at least keep up with the average rider, something I had not really expected in such a place in such a country. I couldn't talk the rides up as much as they did in the lifts (I don't have the vocabulary) but once on the trail, it all seemed to even out....

We're off to Ottowa this evening then on to Quebec for a dose of french baiting at Sophie's wedding. She's marrying some cypriot guy. I'm guessing very hairy chest and the sexual stamina of a bull elephant in musk. That or she's pregnant. Can't think of anything else that would get her to the altar.

ttfn, I'm off shopping

Bomber out