Applied maths for the intellectually challenged.

I just had a fantastic conversation with Cathay Pacific's baggage bird. I'm flying to Brussels (well Amsterdam, but same difference) at the end of the month and will have the furry razor (one tabby, name of Mojo) in tow. Not having done this sort of thing before, I asked our agent to check the rules about putting pets on planes. "just turn up at check-in with the cat in a cage" she tells me "they'll charge him as excess baggage". Now, I believe the excess baggage bit but the just turning up on the day seems a little ad-hock so I called Cathay myself.

It seems that this is the one item that my frequent flier card thingy can't help me with, I need to call the "cargo Hot Line". Right-oh the Cargo Hot Line it is then. I spend 10 minutes trying to get through to them to be told that they can't help me and that I need to go through reservations. Hot as. OK, back to the main dial-in number and I get some girl at reservations. She tells me I need to apply for passage. "How"; I ask. She can do it for me, she says. Brilliant. I just need an estimate of the size and weight. 500x500x700mm and 10 kilos I tell them. Somewhat of a guess. She'll call me back in a couple of days. I leave my mobile number.

4 days goes by and nothing so today I call them again. "we've already informed your agent that we can't confirm" I am told. "but that's a bit ridiculous, I should just turn up at check in and you'll decide the day I fly if you can take the cat or just release him on the street?" "no" she says, "I mean we can't take him, the cage is too big at 500cmx500cmx..." "Hold on", I interject, "500 CM?!? you mean that you thought the cat's cage was 5 meters square and 7 meters high? Are you mad?" "How big is the cage?" she asks "500x500x700 millimeteres" I reiterate "and how many millimeters in a cm?" she asks. At this point I pass out from exhaustion.

Mojo will be pleased to know that Cathay believe they have just turned down transport for the largest cat known to man, an absolute beast of an animal who's over-awing power is second only to his need for tummy rubs and a propensity for catnip..

Bomber out