Oh my God

you have to watch this flash anim. from the BBC, it's a sex ed thingy entitled "funny flaps"; need I say more? Although instructional, perhaps not really safe for work...

Xmas party this afternoon (that's "aaaaavo" to you aussie types) so I should be pleasently drunk by 5 and a ranting lunatic by 7.

Plans have changed a bit for Christmas. I had previously managed to score a coach class airmiles ticket on Cathay HK - Toronto, but had to get "unrestricted" class, which is more expensive than business. An expensive flight to pay cash for though, so I figured what the hell. Then the firm decides last week that I need to go on a stone inspection to France on the 20th December and I am left with the prospect of flying Paris - Hong Kong - Toronto on the 23rd December. 27 hours when it should be 7. Fuck that I thought and started looking for cheap flights from Paris to TO. 600 quid was the cheapest I could find. Fuck that-er I thought and so I called Cathay's wonderfully helpful help desk last night and, after having to explain that I didn't want a Cathay flight because that woulfd involve 27 hours flying instead of 7 (you'd have thought that airline staff would know more about the layout of the World, but there ouy are), I managed to score a BA flight on points from Paris to TO via the lovely Heathrow. But OH NO; no coach class available ... EVEN WORSE; no Business class either! Bugger me I've no choice but to FLY FIRST CLASS! And it's less points down the Kasi (sp?) than my coach cl ticket from HK-TO! How pissed off do you think Bubble is? ... Not even half way there mate! She even said "I was going to say you'd probably get upgraded too, but i just realised that you can't..."

See Bomber. See the Dog house. See Bomber in the Dog house.

Fuck it, I'm flying to Canadia 1st class! Top.

Oh, yeah, forgot. The reason for this little rant wasn't COMPLETELY to piss you off about my FIRST CLASS ticket, or anything, but to ask if I can crash at Smudge or Sparky's London Res. for the evening? I arrive from Paris (BCl, no first on that flight...) the evening of the 22nd, about 6.30pm and leave again following morn @11.40. Dinner's on me, now I'm in the jet-set.

Can any one put me up...?

Bomber out